Irresistiblement
by Moony05
Summary: Written for a fic challenge. HarryxEveryone. WARNINGS: Boy on boy, girl on boy, man on boy, animal on boy... wait... what?


On the first of April, Harry might have guessed that something wasn't right when he walked out of Potions and Snape winked at him. He may have suspected something was awry when Seamus offered to give him a massage. In fact, if Harry had been thinking about anything except lunch he probably would have linked all these events with the strange drink Fred and George had given him. He wasn't so sure the goblet of steaming orange liquid had kept him as alert for his Potions quiz as the twins had promised, but he did feel unnaturally confident. All these thoughts were far from his mind, however, as he met his best friend Ron Weasley for lunch out on the grounds.

"Hello H-Harry…" The boy wizard raised a quizzical brow at the funny look Ron was giving him.

"What? Have I got something on my fa-" Harry was interrupted as Ron leapt on him. A brief struggle ensued, during which Harry found Ron crouching over him. A moment later Ron was furiously burying his freckled face into Harry's neck. At first Harry was afraid Ron intended to bite him, but with a gasp he realized Ron was kissing, licking and sucking his exposed skin.

"Ron! Ron! STOP!" Bellowed Harry, but to no avail. Making a small noise in his throat, Ron started to pull at Harry's trousers, trying to slip them off. Harry began calling frantically for rescue from his apparently raving mad best friend.

"Gerroff him yeh slug eatin'… Ron?" Hagrid, seeming to appear out of nowhere held Ron up by his vest. Ron looked properly ashamed for a moment, but as Harry stood the redhead eyed him hungrily.

"Hagrid, thanks… Really, I don't know what got into him!" Harry said breathlessly, he brushed off his pants and continued, "You know, it's not just Ron, everyone seems to be acting rather strangely. Now that I think of it, I think Snape _winked_ at me Hagrid! …Hagrid?" Harry began to back away nervously, for now the Hogwarts gamekeepers eyes were looking as hungry as Ron's.

"Er… I got to go." Without another word, Harry made a desperate escape to the Quidditch field. It was empty except for Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory, having a quiet conversation a few feet away. Feeling he was safe from at least one happy couple, Harry tried to think rationally. Something odd was happening, that was for sure. But he had no idea what! Who did he know that was smart and could help him out? Hermione of course! With that resolved, Harry made for the castle… but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Why hello Harry, nice day isn't it?" Cho practically purred into his ear. "Yes Harry, _lovely_ day." Cedric echoed from Harry's other side.

A strong muscular hand worked it's way down the front of his pants, and onto a very private part of his body, while Harry suddenly found a rapturous Cho affixed to his mouth. Not that he hadn't always dreamed of her lips against his, but somehow he had pictured it a little differently. Namely without a rather excited Cedric pressed up behind him. He couldn't help but let a small moan escape his mouth, Cho's feminine softness pressed against him with Cedrics hand working rather knowledgably was feeling embarrassingly good. Harry had to think fast, who knows what they would do to him if he submitted?

"Look! Viktor Krum!" Harry pulled away from Cho and shouted the first name that came to his mind. To his disbelief, it worked. Maybe Cho and Cedric were merely surprised at Harry's yelling, but both released their hold long enough for Harry to break away. Without even a glance over his shoulder, Harry escaped into the castle.

'Think! Think!' Harry prodded himself mentally as he went up the stairs. He tried to ignore the fact that every living creature he passed was giving him the eye. And even dead life forms, as he was about to find out.

"Ah, Harry. Would you mind, er… stepping aside with me a bit?" Nearly Headless Nick asked. His tone of voice was odd, and ridiculously coy. Harry saw through it immediately.

"No thanks." He muttered, for he was almost to the portrait of the fat lady.

"Ah well, perhaps later this afternoon we might get together for a chat?" Nearly Headless Nick persisted, but Harry gave the password to the Fat Lady (who looked him up and down admiringly, but thankfully made no advances), and was gone.

"Hermione!" Harry called nervously. The common room was rather empty, probably because everyone was out to lunch. Neville was in an arm chair, immersed in an Herbology book, Dean was scrawling on some parchment, most likely for homework, and Parvati was sitting up from another arm chair looking at Harry most interestedly. She stood and walked over to Harry, who returned her gaze nervously.

"Harry, is something wrong? You almost never come to the common room during lunch." Parvati asked softly, "is something _bothering_ you? Because I think I could take it off your mind." Her hand traced Harry's chest lightly, and she smiled as Harry gulped.

"Harry?" Dean's voice, a lot breathier than normal, and right behind him! Where had he come from? "You look pretty tense, maybe you should lie down?"

"No thanks, I'm just looking for Hermione… Have you- YIKES!" Harry yelped. Neville, sneaking in from the side had yanked down his pants, and put his mouth on something Harry definitely would not have wanted the round faced boy to touch. Poor Neville however had very little experience, and Harry simply felt a wet uncomfortable feeling in his nether regions.

"Please… I just… want… Hermione…" Harry moaned softly as his three fellow Gryffindors pulled him to the floor.

"I'll bet you want Hermione, you dirty little boy." Parvati giggled as she pulled off his shirt. With a bit of panic, Harry heard Dean's belt jingle as it was unbuckled, what was he planning to do?

"Don't worry Harry, I hear it only hurts a little your first time." Dean whispered. Something big and hard was sliding into him then, oh it hurt! The pain mixed strangely with the warm sloppy feeling of Neville at his front. Parvati began to put her mouth on his nipples, becoming desperate, his thoughts turned to his wand, why hadn't he thought of it sooner? His pants were just barely out of reach… if he could just…

"OW!" Harry cried, as Dean went in all the way.

"Just… enjoy it Harry." Dean panted as he began to thrust in and out. Harry was pushed closer to his wand with each successive movement and then…

"YES! Petrificus totalus!"

Slowly, painfully, Harry pulled Neville off his front, and Dean out of his rear. Parvati he simply rolled off him. He felt dirty, but not as dirty as he would of thought. He was ashamed to realize that what Dean had been doing to him wasn't all that bad.

:"Bleh, what am I thinking?" Harry shook his head in disgust. Pulling on his clothes, he made his way to the entrance of the girls dormitory.

"Hermione?" He called up the stairs hopefully.

"Oh, Harry? Is that you?" A small voice answered. Ginny… oh no! He couldn't think of how awkward it would be if Ginny Weasley suddenly came on to him. Had she even hit puberty yet? "Hermione isn't here, she went out looking for you." Ginny continued, "Something about my stupid brothers? Shall I come with you to look?" Harry heard her footsteps coming toward the door.

"No! No thank you!" Harry said quickly. Thinking that he had earned some sort of award for that narrow escape, he slipped quietly through the Gryffindor entrance.

"Come back soon." The Fat Lady called after him. Rolling his eyes, Harry decided the best course of action would be to check the Great Hall and then go over the grounds inch by inch. Perhaps he and Hermione had missed each other?

A peek into the Great Hall was all Harry needed to convince himself Hermione was not there. Her usual seat was taken instead by a tall gangling Gryffindor sixth year, and most of the other students had filtered out to the halls or grounds for the remainder of lunch. With a sigh of disappointment, Harry turned to take an alternate route to the grounds, rather than risk the Great Hall… and almost smacked his forehead on Crabbe's chest. Looking up nervously, he saw Crabbe was accompanied by none other than Goyle. Brilliant… of course this meant-

"Watch where you're going Potter," Draco's voice drawled from behind Crabbe, confirming Harry's prediction. "Can't you see we're…" Draco's voice changed as he came out from behind Crabbe, "completely free for your entertainment?"

Harry tried to smile nonchalantly, but was finding it rather hard to be casual with Crabbe and Goyle each putting a gorilla-like hand on his shoulder. Well, he definitely wouldn't be able to fight them off if they tried to have their way with him. But a distracted Malfoy was no contest, right?

"Say, Malfoy," Harry began, "You wouldn't want to find an abandoned broom closet would you?" Malfoy's eyes lit up, "Of course," Harry added, "I don't think you'd want to share me. We should go alone."

"Crabbe, Goyle." Malfoy snapped instantly, "go eat some more lunch or something."

Looking extremely disappointed, the two large Slytherin boys stalked off to the Great Hall.

"Now Potter…" Malfoy crooned, "Let's go to that broom closet… I know the one Filch keeps the chains in…"

About twenty minutes later, Harry was stumbling out of the broom closet, hair slightly mussed and glasses askew. He couldn't remember when he had decided to let Malfoy have sex with him… it had just sort of happened.

"Later Potter." Malfoy called after him with a wink. Harry shivered a little, not because he was cold, and wobbled down toward the grounds once again. If he wasn't careful, he was going to start enjoying this. Well... more than he already had.

The grounds were like a mine field. Harry was assaulted by Ernie, Lavender, Zabini, and Professor Flitwick. Alicia, Katie and Angelina had also attacked him in a clever formation he was sure he had seen on the Quidditch pitch. Barely managing to evade them all, he went round the entire grounds without once spotting Hermione. With a sigh of defeat, Harry made his way to the far end of the lake. It was almost the end of lunch, and he was determined to skive off lessons until the end of the day. Maybe after the sun went down, whatever was plaguing him would wear off. It was probably for the best that he hadn't found Hermione. Whatever was making the other students want to shag him would most likely effect her too.

Harry sadly dipped his hand in the water, the coolness was refreshing… at least until a long slimy tentacle wrapped itself around his arm. The tentacle snaked it's way up his shoulder, than caressed his face lovingly before sliding back into the water. The surface was deceptively smooth, and betrayed no motion as the Giant Squid sank back into the depths of the water.

"Even the Giant Squid wants to get off with me." Harry grumbled.

"Harry! Don't turn around!" Hermione's voice caught Harry very off guard, and he only half turned before obeying her command.

"Okay Harry, don't look at me. Fred and George, the stupid idiots, gave you some sort of potion. They called it their 'mojo,' whatever that means… I've never heard of it, but I managed to weasel the antidote out of them in exchange for not telling Mrs. Weasley. I'm going to leave it by your hand, but don't turn around. If you look at me, I'll probably… do something embarrassing. It's triggered by seeing your face." Hermione sounded rather flustered, but determined as she placed a vial by Harry's hand.

"All right." Harry said, "And Hermione? Thanks." He took the vial and drank it down. Used to revolting potions, Harry was surprised to find that it was tasteless, if not extremely cold. It was like a refreshing glass of water.

"Do you think I'm okay now Hermione?" Harry asked, turning to face his friend.

"Well, I'm not about to snog you." Hermione smiled wryly.

"I'm going to kill Fred and George." Harry said grimly. Hermione laughed and sat beside him.

"So how bad was it? It was a couple hours before I found you." Hermione inquired anxiously.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I would rather not talk about this again for a long… long time."


End file.
